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He tipped his head back as far as it would go, stretching his neck muscles. The Prime Minister read the note, took off her glasses and eased back in her chair, staring out of focus for several seconds. Deputy Director Sykes was in attendance for this meeting and eyed Jack suspiciously. What if our good friend Magestic is sending tip-offs to other nations? My mop of black curly hair was still there, and still a mop. And for the next hour or so I fed numerous lion cubs, a Cheetah cub and a baby monkey with wrinkly pink skin and an improvised nappy. As she knelt next to me, making sure I was playing mum correctly, her khaki green shirt fell forwards and revealed her small breasts. Jimmy's knowledge of animals and the country amazed them, so he explained it away by telling them he had visited many times before. During the meal Jimmy took a sandwich to the black driver, who seemed not to be allowed inside.

Straight to the point, The Prime Minister said, 'This gentleman –' motioning toward Jack. ' She waited as concerned looks swept around the assembled faces. As a teenager I had tried to tame it, around the time I had tried in earnest to stop my mum from buying me shirts with wide collars, and cuffs that took ages to iron. When Jimmy returned, the family avoided eye contact for five minutes.

He smiled when considering why they had assigned him this task; a degree in psychology. But still, here he sat, grinning smugly at his assigned task, a task that his superior resented Jack handling. But, more importantly, we know that this is not just about us.' Jack forced a breath. And me, I often longed for the first IBM PC's keyboard, ivory keys that 'clunked' heavily when you hit them, so much better than touch screens with intuitive algorithms. My body is full of genetically modified stem cells and other drugs, giving me greatly extended endurance and strength. Must have stayed there for an hour, but I was not complaining, I was starting to really enjoy the experience.

His boss always read the letters first, just to make a point, but never gleaned anything of use outside of the obvious facts detailed. She cut through the chatter with, 'You have short-cut ... 'Prime Minister, we know that Magestic is probably London based, or a commuter along the M4 motorway. so if the Americans have had letters, they would, most likely, be posted to the US Ambassador here ... The number of spreadsheets I accidentally sent my mum from forty thousand feet over the Atlantic. I'm immune to all diseases known to man - and a few they haven't discovered yet. 'Kicks off in about seventeen years time, give or take.' He raised a finger. Further on we spotted Cheetahs, Zebras in the distance, before pulling into what looked like a farm.

Sometimes, these days, my eyes looked tired and I could imagine how I might actually appear at seventy: grey hair, or no hair, wrinkles and sun spots, opaque skin and errant strands of hair trying to escape from my nostrils and eardrums. Me, and Dave the other lodger, were getting fat and lazy after just two weeks. ' 'Get her to the doctors before that time, for a check-up, ' I rushed to get out. Not the table manners, but the fact that it was a grown Cheetah.

But, thanks to my mentor I, and everyone else on the planet, had the chance of eternal youth, a subject of much debate amongst many groups, some of whom wanted me dead. With England playing in the World Cup, and tonight's match against Argentina of all countries, we were well geared up; Chinese take-away, cans of lager, ice cream slowly defrosting and some popcorn for later. All we needed was a pair of lap-dancers for half time and life would have been perfect. Second time around I stroked its chin and head and it seemed to like that more than my meal. A fully-grown lion caused me to stand and look worried, Jimmy grinning at my discomfort.

This new letter, typed like the rest, had been numbered by the sender in handwriting as '12' and detailed an elaborate IRA attack, so much detail that some in the government were certain that Magestic was in the community of spies, possibly a high ranking member of the IRA itself. 'Donohue, you don't need to raise a finger like a schoolboy wanting the toilet, ' Sykes suggested. It had obviously been thoughtfully designed by some youngster at Chinchen-Microsoft to be non-patronising, and was the same voice as that on my PCD. The next morning we had an acceptable breakfast in a communal hall, some other German guests present, before hiring a private guide and two wardens to take us on a jeep trek. Thirty minutes later and a buff coloured file was keenly opened by Jack Donohue at the Ministry of Defence. Everyone has stem cells, they're what builds our bodies when we're in the womb. or getting shot by irate husbands.' 'And then what do I do? I'm going to try and stop them, not least by tipping off those they aim to invade.' 'Bloody hell.' I sipped my beer as he fetched a large box. ' 'Bloody hell.' 'Your language tutors will arrive in a few weeks.' 'I'm like Luke-frigging-Skywalker being trained to use The Force.' He eased back. If someone asks you if you like your mum you'd say yes. Jimmy booked us in, speaking in German to the German owner, a room for the taxi driver arranged, then tipped his head for me to follow. The Prime Minister ran a quick eye over a letter, initialling the corner before handing it back to the waiting messenger. But don't worry, you've got ten or fifteen years before we get near a situation where the CIA will want to shoot me.' 'CIA? 'In the future, the Americans are going to want to invade a few countries. other than by flying her home the next day in your own helicopter? By time we get to 2005 you'll be one of the richest men in the UK.' Wide-eyed I said, 'I will? You, on the other hand, will hang onto a lot so that we have a reserve.' I suddenly considered that my future self was quite mean. 'It's no fun being a millionaire; you'll have to watch your back. An hour later and we arrived at the place with the long name, a small lodge of sorts that looked like cluster of Canadian log cabins, albeit dusty and dirty.'Up to now we have assumed that this was just about us.' Jack delicately raised a finger. The taming had not worked, neither the hair nor my mum. It was cut every six weeks and we agreed to ignore each other and do our own thing. Six foot four, built like Darth Vader's big brother and smart with it, we were getting on well. As we sat at their kitchen table, the sun going down, a variety of animals wandered in.In its favour it never needed combing and looked exactly the same after a futile attempt at male grooming. He did the dishes, cleaned the house, bought way too much food and drink for just his own consumption and he nearly always picked up a take-away on the way home, from the Chinese next to Richmond tube station. A fully-grown Cheetah forcing its nose under my armpit and pinching my food was a shock.

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