My boyfriends on dating websites

A problem with suspicion and snooping is: the more you fear and suspect, the more that fear and suspicion eats away at you and creates more fears and suspicions!

This creates a vicious cycle that destroys trust in the relationship and ultimately causes a problem where there was none. You have to remember that you don’t know his full story yet.

You’re just seeing what he’s doing online and that information is freely available to the world.

Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…

Only you can decide if what you learn convinces you to keep participating in the relationship or not.

I’m not going to be in something where I have to worry or wonder that the person I’m exclusive with is as ‘into’ the relationship as I am. I’m really not one to spoonfeed words to anyone reading my articles. However, in this case, I feel that the conversation points I laid out above do more to instruct than even my explaining of my viewpoint would have…

I can tell you from personal experience that this was a skill I needed to learn.

In my past, there have been times when even though the relationship was good, my insecurity would eat away at me.

I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…

I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.

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