Understanding that your emotions are normal is helpful for everyone.
For the emotionally sensitive person, knowing that anyone would be upset in a specific situation is validating. Speaking before an audience the first time is scary for anyone." Level Six is Radical Genuineness.
Level 5, normalizing, would not work because most people would agree his response was reasonable and not be upset in that situation.
There is nothing to make her response more understandable in terms of her history, so Level 4 is not possible. She quit because her boss loudly criticized her in front of other people.
This type of validation can be done by others in an awkward, sing-songy, artificial way that is truly irritating or by yourself in a criticizing way.
When done in an authentic manner, with the intent of truly understanding the experience and not judging it, accurate reflection is validating.
Radical genuiness is when you understand the emotion someone is feeling on a very deep level. Radical genuineness is sharing that experience as equals. Putting them into practice is often more difficult.
Practice is the key to making validation a natural part of the way you communicate. Your best friend is upset because her husband cut up her credit card. Probably Level 2 is the highest level you could use.
When someone is describing a situation, notice their emotional state.
Validation is a way of communicating that the relationship is important and solid even when you disagree on issues.
Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts,feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Holding someone's hand when they are having a painful medical treatment, listening with your whole mind and doing nothing but listening to a child describe their day in first grade, and going to a friend's house at midnight to sit with her while she cries because a supposed friend told lies about her are all examples of being present.
The second level of validation is Accurate Reflection.
Accurate reflection means you summarize what you have heard from someone else or summarize your own feelings.