So, Someone made a sincere study of the situation, and here are the results. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.
If you are too young, please tell all the "elders" you know about it; it may brighten their day. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started. You're getting old when you wake up with that morning after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 12 years old - My mother doesn't really know everything. 45 years old - Let's go down the hallway and ask Mom what she thinks.Mg200_install.exe, size: 349kb [ ] Zoom in [ - ] Zoom out [ Spacebar ] Toggle aiming on / off [ Up arrow ] Increase lens height [ Down arrow ] Decrease lens height [ Right arrow ] Increase lens width [ Left arrow ] Decrease lens width Here is what it looks like when you run it over this page: Right-click the Magnifying Glass taskbar icon to open Magnifying Glass menu for various customization options. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.The program shows a magnifying glass lens that follows the mouse movement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals. (Canadians may substitute 2Kg potato sacks) After a few weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a 100 lb. - Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. - Statistics show at age of seventy, there are five women to every man.