I’m scared that if I say ‘Hi’ to a new girl I’ll be a labeled as a predator.” “C’mon man, that’s not going to happen.” I replied. One of my female friends said that if a random guy even smiles at her, it’s sexual assault.” I was speechless! There’s a rapidly growing culture that promotes safe sex, consent, and healthier relationships for women. However, this message is being misinterpreted and taken to extremes.
It unintentionally condones complete female control while subtly shaming men for their natural sexual desires. And both men and women are perpetuating it and suffering because of it.
They’ve had a guy staring at them for hours at the library.
They’ve had guys who can’t look away from their chest during conversation. It’s terrible and no one should have to endure that. You shouldn’t demonize flirting because some people went about it the wrong way.
They’re stuck trying to be the “good guy” and yet they’re the ones losing out.What anti-flirting proponents don’t understand is that in most heterosexual relationships, men have to take the active role in flirting. This isn’t me spouting misogynistic values, this is courtship. During my college speeches, I ask women to raise their hands if they prefer to take the lead with flirting.That could be to approach a guy or ask for his number. (And if you’re a woman who wants to take the lead — more power to you.) So telling men not to flirt is the wrong advice!It goes against what women respond to and what works.Anything else is setting men up for consistent failure. I’ve watched hundreds of situations where a woman wasn’t initially interested in a man.