Even if you’ve been married for 30 years to a narcissist, it sadly means that you’ve been a mirror (and nothing more) for 30 years. They don’t love themselves, even though their surface would indicate that they do love themselves – too much. Narcissists are fragile shells and to keep their shells intact they abuse before they can be abused.
This is why they are hyper-vigilant for the slightest criticism.
Still, when we’re in the middle of it, it’s difficult to step outside the fishbowl and peer in.
Objectivity seems to be the lowest on our list of priorities, with survival of a relationship that being our top priority.
When they see their mirror has gained strength, thus providing the mirror the means of seeing the narcissist for what it truly is, they will move in for the emotional kill.
There is a point at which you, as a mirror can avoid this emotional kill, if you truly see what’s going on.
It’s very easy for someone to believe they are not an alcoholic simply because they don’t drink.
Al-Anon is a great place to get the help and support you need in dealing with a dry drunk and/or a narcissist.
Please open the link for dry drunk to read the characteristics.
My best advice for getting free of a narcissist (and you are with a narcissist if all or most of the first half of No Longer Dead applies to you) is to seek secular help.
Prayer works, regardless your form of worship or faith.