My second instinct was to ask him what exactly he found attractive, then. If I had lined up every man in the room and arranged them from the ones I found most attractive down to the least, starting at the bar, his boyfriend might have ended up somewhere near the bathroom.
It wasn't the nicest thought that ran through my head that evening, but that was just my taste.
Before I met Nolan, I would have imagined that someone who had been living in Asia for a decade would have realized that the contents of the Asian box are as varied as those of the white, black or Latino ones.
"I don't find Asian men attractive." I didn't say it.
He did: Nolan,* the guy from Amsterdam who had been living in Bangkok for 10 years.
Shoving them into one box of physical attributes and labeling it "Do not touch" is tantamount to saying that all black people look alike.
Sure, we have no control over what we're attracted to, but we can control whether we see people as individuals or merely as belonging to groups that are determined by ethnicity and race.