That’s a common situation that causes many people a lot of distress.
The truth is, it’s very easy to deal with when you’ve planned out all the possibilities.
You have something he/she wants, and he/she has something you want (sex, companionship, etc.) As a result, the both of you benefit each other.
Over time, as the two of you trade more and more, you realize that it’ll be more efficient if you just stayed together. When you don’t really know yourself and don’t have much to offer in your relationship, that’s when you become “desparate”.
Do you realize that means you’re better off than you were before you entered the relationship? You’re now standing at a point higher than you were at before the relationship (and either higher or lower than when you were in the relationship depending on how you look at it). Now, if a relationship happens to come along which will make you happier – Okee dokie! A lot of pain comes as a result of not knowing yourself and what you want.
Just stop thinking about it and start doing the things you love. You’ll never get into a relationship again and do the things you love until you die. That’s because not knowing creates a lot of uncertainity in situations, which paralyzes you.
For example, let’s say you just had a date and you sit around wondering when the other person would call.
Now you’re left with what you started with, but with more experience.It’s also when the other person feel this exceeding neediness from you, which leads the the suspicion that you have much less to offer than what you’ll be getting.If that is the case, then of course the relationship would feel like the center of the world to you, as you are deriving most of your identity from your partner.You have to learn to like yourself in this state because then, any kind of relationship breakup wouldn’t be so bad.Sure, you’ll feel a loss, but you’ll still have something pretty great to return to.