In fact, a single-mum friend was seeing a guy who used her ‘lack of spontaneity’ as an excuse for sleeping with someone else.Now when I spot the word ‘spontaneous’ in a man’s dating profile, I swipe left.Even if all that happened was a no-strings fling, I was still more interested in what they were like as people – did they have ambition? Well, it turns out there is a whole other layer of disappointment that someone in my position has to deal with.
That’s another part of hook-ups I’ve found difficult – someone who isn’t the father of my child (and therefore has no obligation to be kind) seeing my body.
And while I obviously ditched the dating sites while I was seeing Jack, I’m now on the verge of reactivating my profiles.
However, that initial burst of optimism has worn off – is it really worth dipping my toe in the water again?
It doesn’t get any easier as time passes, but a combination of wine, leaving some clothes on and having the lighting low works for me.
Things with Jack unfortunately fizzled out after a year or so – he was having a second youth of constant holidays and weekend breaks that I just couldn’t join in on, as much as I loved his approach to life.