I was in your situation, until I broke it off with him yesterday. Your story provides confirmation that I did absolutely the correct thing. They will get over the initial shock of how untraditional your relationship is, and more importantly, that even though this isn't what they envisioned for you, it might be ok -because of the positive changes your relationship causes within you. He also may be somewhat over-protective of his kids and maybe worried about them, in the event that your relationship has issues. I'm 29 with a man who is 42 years old with 3 kids (18,15,10).When he was courting me he promised me everything under the sun, including that I would never be second to his children. It's not all sunshine & roses though -you will have to deal with the kids and ex-wife emotions by yourself, you don't want the parental 'we told you so' -alone, because he will try, but never truly comprehend everything his baggage will put you through, emotionally and otherwise. He probably doesn't want them to be in the middle of any issues or especially a possible break-up. im dealing with the same thang its hard for my parents to understand the chose i made to date a man that is divorce with im going threw a divorce myself with kids like this man im what im doing is showing that im happy now cause of this showing them just me doing the right things in life that i wasnt doing before he came into my life. We were friends for 4 years before we started dating 10 months ago.He wanted to be 100% sure that I was right for his familym, not just him. I tried everything to make it work I married him, and we eventually had a son.Once the kids and I met (about 6 months into our relationship) we hit it off, and it's been great. But it always seemed like I was trying to get attention from him.If you do end up with him, I'm sure it will be because he treats you right. I'd say that you should talk to him and let him know if he will be a part of you by a certain date (before your first anniversary would be good, I think, but you may choose one that you prefer). I'm interested in knowing how things have turned out for you? I don't want to succomb to my family's pressure but they are so right.This is more about how long you want to wait rather than when he's supposed to decide. He was with his last gf for 5 years and never got married.I am trying to be patient as he's asked me to do so.I guess I just worry that this will be yet another relationship that just hurts in the end and was a waste of time. I've waited with marriage until I found someone I was really in love with. His two beautiful daughters I've come to love as my own. You might be happy now, but it's NOT worth the possible heartache. Hi Troe -I just stumbled upon this website looking for advice on my relationship. It was love at first sight and we have been head over heels in love ever since. He usually has them on the weekends and some weeknights and I am never asked to join.
Also, depending upon the situation with his ex, he may have concerns that she may not agree with his choices and try to make it more difficult for him to see his kids. He and their mother have been divorced for 3 1/2 years.
My situation is a little different because I have kids with the guy who also has an ex wife and son. What stinks is that I can sit here and tell you to have trust etc. The kids know about me and the two times we met he told me they really liked me.
It seems he's not sure how to bring me into their relationship.
What's hard is that I know my parents aren't happy with my situation and they feel like I should find somebody who 1) isn't divorced and 2) doesn't have kids. but his children arent lol i tried so hard to be accepted by them .. and i dont really care anymore .husband is a great father .. but i always have to compromise and be understanding that im not the only one in his life ... It really helps that it's anonymous because I got comments from friends that they would not say to my face. He gets his children every other weekend and on those weekends, I don't see him nor am I invited to do things with them.
I respect that they are concerned about me and my situation but can't they just be happy that I'm happy right now? consider that and watch how close your guy with his children and watch the character of those children .your choice .. I also am in a relationship with a fella with 3 kids, I have 4 and can make it work, but he is having difficulty, he says they come first and me 2nd. Using this, I decided what to do about my relationship and have been very happy with my decision. I am dating a recently divorced man with 3 children. I have only been around them twice and both times things went well, but we've been dating now for 8 months and still I've only been around them twice. But, If he doesn't have that desire to include me in ALL of his life, have me go places with them (even once a month) then how do I know if this is actually going somwhere?