Divorce, to a narcissist, is just another way for them to continue their abuse, and the legal system becomes an unwitting pawn in their pathological game.
It's been four years since that moment in my therapist's office, and two years since my divorce was finalized.
I didn't realize it then, but when my therapist stopped me mid-sentence and told me that it wasn't OK for my husband to treat me that way, it marked the beginning of my chaotic tumble toward divorce.
Unfortunately, our divorce was even more traumatic than the marriage itself.
As we waited for my ex to calm down, my attorney and the mediator kept asking me why I hadn't told anyone about his yelling and anger problems.
It is important to recognize that you are still being actively abused during the divorce, and as such, it is not possible to fully heal from the abuse.I quickly learned never to have a conversation with him anywhere other than in writing.I notified him that I would no longer speak to him in person or over the phone.I learned to answer only the emails that were absolutely necessary, such as logistical questions about vacation time or drop-offs, and to keep them as brief, firm, and business-like as possible.Everything else went unanswered, no matter how inflammatory.