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To our bi and gay readers: we also ran the numbers on same-sex messaging, and though we don’t have nearly as much data for them, those charts are here, along with some discussion.

Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been thoroughly anonymized, with sender and recipient data stripped out. The longer messages I give as examples in this post were actually forwarded to us by their annoyed/amused recipients.

But when we factor in the Of course, we shouldn’t forget that there’s a certain amount of overhead involved with contacting someone (scanning her profile for common interests, thinking of jokes to make, taking a deep breath, clicking around, and so on).

If we include 5 minutes of forethought, we find that the actual ideal first message length is 200 characters, or 1 minute’s worth of typing for the average writer. Something we learned building Spark Notes, in our pre-Ok Cupid days.

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If you’re the kind of person who spends a little more time reading a profile and thinking about your message, say, 10 minutes, then the optimal length goes up a few words (to 270 characters), but, still, The shortest messages get almost the best absolute response rate, and the reply rate actually goes down as messages approach extreme length.

Message length is rounded up to the nearest 50 (or we wouldn’t have significant data on some points.) So the first data point on the graph is messages of length 0–50, next is 51–100, and so on.On the other, over 40% of female-to-male first messages , so, as a woman, if you’re writing to a few people who fit your basic demographic the odds are very good you’ll get a response.Anyhow, all this implies that the average woman’s time is better spent looking for the right people to write to, rather than composing detailed messages. Self-confidence, which comes with the achievement of your goals, is the most beautiful thing in the world. more about Anna from Kiev I love to sing and to dance ( but i am not sure i am too good in it ).I like to cook, have a rest on the nature with my friends. more about Olga from Mariupol I am an active and cheerful person. more about Maria from Sloviansk I am romantic and very active person.

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